I'm a self diagnosed pumpkin addict, so it's entirely necessary for me to talk about the best (and the worst) pumpkin products that hit shelves the first day of September when there was absolutely no change in the weather, but me and all my fellow addicts were permitted to come out of hiding.
Every year I find myself more amazed by the number of companies trying to make their products pumpkin flavored. This results in really awesome things like the pumpkin crumb cake from Kings Grocery; but also really revolting things like pumpkin spice condoms, which I have not confirmed are real, but do I even need to?
So here's a list of all the purchasable pumpkin products I've tried to date, ranked from best to worst. I'll be keeping this updated as I continue to explore my pumpkin horizons. 🌄
1. Pumpkin Crumb Cake from the bakery at Kings Supermarket
Okay so I know a lot of people are at a disadvantage on this one because Kings doesn't have locations everywhere, but luckily for me, there's one in my hometown, meaning that perhaps the most delicious dessert I've ever gotten my hands on is only 6 minutes away from me anytime that I come home during the fall. This is dangerous.
First off, crumb cake on its own is easily one of my favorite desserts, and lemme tell ya, Kings makes a good one. But when they make the addition of pumpkin to their cake base, the result is unbelievable. There's a perfect balance between the warm pumpkin flavors and the flavors you'd expect from an old fashioned crumb cake. The crumb to cake ratio is also on point, with more than 50% of each bite being sugary, crumby, "am I getting diabetes right now?" goodness.
So now that I think about it, it doesn't really matter if you live near a Kings. You should be compelled to drive as long as it takes to get to one, because this pumpkin crumb cake is worth it.
Rating: Infinity/10 Yes, infinity.
2. Kilwins Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream
Sorry to introduce yet another product that not everyone has easy access to depending on where you live (I'm not actually sorry, this s%!* is good). Ice cream belongs to the holy trinity of foods (the other two being pasta and cheese), so it's only customary that it gets a pumpkin pie makeover.
Now the keyword here is "pie." This isn't your usual pumpkin spice product that gets some pumpkin puree and spices thrown into it before calling it a day. No. This ice cream flavor thrives on its inclusion of massive chewy pie crust chunks that added a very much needed textural experience to it.
I chose this photo for the sake of showing the color of the ice cream and the pie chunk peeking out towards the bottom right of the scoop. However, if you could see the photo from my other visit, you would know that this ice cream is good enough to eat massive amounts of. Specifically, amounts three times the size of this.
Rating: 10/10
3. Turkey Hill Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream
This ice cream ranks lower than the Kilwins Ice Cream for a few reasons. Primarily, it's store-bought, so you lose a little bit of the excitement involved in taking a trip to the ice cream shop, shoving your face into the glass, and pointing out the flavor you want to your mom *but can I pleeeeeeeease have rainbow sprinkles??*. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though, because it allows you to eat alarming amounts of ice cream out of the tub with your best friends named Netflix and Couch who won't judge you, nor deny you of having your rainbow sprinkles.
More importantly, the pie crust pieces in this flavor don't 100% live up to the Kilwins pie pieces. However, they're still present, which is what earns this flavor its high ranking. The color of this ice cream is also a little concerning considering it's a really artificial orange. But hey, you've already sacrificed your health by making the decision to eat a combination of two of the most fattening desserts, ice cream and pie, so who cares what other crap they put in it to make it orange, right?
Rating: 9.5/10
4. Pumpkin Spice Cheerios
I'm taking a momentary break from ice cream to discuss yet another important type of food: cereal. Do your best to ignore the Nature Valley Bars in this photo that score a far less successful ranking than the Cheerios.
These Cheerios are honestly really successful in terms of pumpkin spice flavor because that's the first thing you taste in every bite. You don't have to go searching for it like you do with a lot of other failed pumpkin products. The pumpkin spices also present themselves in a way that isn't artificial-tasting or super sugary.
Also, we all know that the best part of cereal isn't even the cereal itself. It's the cereal-infused milk that waits for us at the bottom of the bowl that any sane person knows not to waste. The cereal-milk that results from these Cheerios is seriously good. Good enough that I might just dump a whole box of these Cheerios into a bucket of milk, strain it, and drink it throughout the day instead of water. Better yet, let's just start feeding cows ONLY pumpkin spice Cheerios and hope it shows up in their milk. Boom, I just launched an empire.
Rating: 9/10
5. Pumpkin Pie Halo Top
Aaaaaaand we're back to ice cream. Are you surprised? Well you shouldn't be. Because ice cream is important.
It's important to establish that I am in fact a Halo Top supporter. A low calorie ice cream that you can eat 2 pints of in one sitting but still tastes good is as innovative as it gets in my opinion. We can officially eat like pigs and still look like Kardashians. Okay, maybe just Rob. But it's fine.
Although Halo Top's take on pumpkin pie obviously isn't as creamy as its high calorie competitors, it still receives an A+ on pumpkin flavor. The pie pieces are definitely lacking here, but the ice cream base tastes exactly like a pumpkin ice cream base should. So kudos to you, Halo Top, for producing yet another flavor that I can go three pints deep into before questioning my life choices.
Rating: 8.5/10
6. Blind Spot Nut Butters: Pumpkin Pie Nut Butter
I recently discovered Blind Spot Nut Butters, a small company based out of Pennsylvania, on Instagram and immediately took the liberty of ordering more than half of their flavors to try. Something I appreciate about their products are the ingredients that they're using. No nut butter contains more than 5-6 ish ingredients (I don't feel like walking all the way to the pantry to count) that are all natural things like nuts, seeds, and the occasional brown sugar or cinnamon.
The pumpkin pie flavor is pretty damn tasty. The only setback is the texture, because if you're expecting a smooth, more liquidy texture, like that of peanut butter or almond butter, you won't be getting it here. Because of this, I would say that it's not very spreadable, but that's no issue for me, as I'm perfectly content eating it on its own straight from the jar. I bet you've never eaten pumpkin pie from a jar, so here's your chance to.
Rating: 8.5/10
7. Blue Diamond Pumpkin Spice Almonds
Finally, something healthy. May the health-nuts rejoice! (Pun completely intended).
I've never been big on almonds (I'm more of a peanut gal), but when I saw these I thought I might as well give 'em a shot. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I like them.
I don't care for the tougher bite that almonds have compared to peanuts, but the pumpkin spice flavor on these definitely makes up for that. There perfectly pumpkin-y without tasting sugary or grainy from the seasoning that's on it. I'll definitely be stocking up on these.
Rating: 8.5/10
8. Stop and Shop/Giant Pumpkin Hummus
This is actually one of my favorite pumpkin products out there for a rather ironic reason: you're not smacked in the face with pumpkin flavor. This hummus actually doesn't resemble traditional hummus very much either. I honestly don't even know what they're doing to make this product, but I won't question it, because it's fantastic.
The pumpkin is subtle, but definitely there, and it's much smoother than most hummuses (hummi? hummai?). I find it goes really well with carrots, but I'm sure it could totally be taken for a dessert spin by being put with cinnamon pita chips or something of the like to bring it to more of a pumpkin pie status.
Rating: 8.5/10
9. Trader Joe's Pumpkin Soup
I'm usually not a big soup gal, but this soup...THIS. SOUP.
It is just perfect. So perfect that I slurped down half the bowl before remembering to take a picture.
First of all, Trader Joe's keeps the ingredients list simple and natural with no added sugar or other garbage that most companies have to throw into their products to make them taste better. It also comes in at only 100 calories per cup (about half the box). A+ for healthiness.
In terms of taste, the flavors are warm (and comforting and cozy and snuggle-worthy if they were human), and focus on the flavor of actual pumpkins rather than pumpkin spice, which is a refreshing change. It's also a nice consistency. Not super thin, but also not super creamy or heavy. It's somewhere in between, but leans towards the thinner side.
I've found this soup makes for a great mini breakfast on a cold morning. I say "mini" because it's not super filling, so just keep in mind that it won't suffice as a complete meal.
Rating: 8/10
10. Talenti Pumpkin Pie Gelato
This is another pumpkin ice cream-- excuse me, gelato-- that actually lived up to the hype. It's an appropriate level of sweetness, has a light and creamy consistency, and super tasty pie pieces. The only problem here is because it's so thin and light, it's easy to just plow through the pint in minutes, which wouldn't be a problem if the sugar and fat content weren't so obnoxiously high for the consistency this is. Despite that, this is definitely an excellent choice and worth trying.
Rating: 8/10
11. Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream
I'm slightly alarmed at how many ice creams are appearing on this list, but pumpkin salads and protein bars are for wimps.
I had very high expectations for this flavor after hearing it was the best full fat pumpkin ice cream on the market. After waiting for it to make its appearance on freezer shelves, I finally got a chance to try it, and I was a little underwhelmed.
I aimlessly searched for this "graham cracker swirl" they speak of on the package and simply could not find one. Also, because this is pumpkin cheesecake ice cream and not pumpkin pie ice cream, there aren't any pie pieces, which is a definite setback. I also found the consistency to be oddly icy, even after letting it sit out, but maybe I had a weird batch.
However, I wouldn't say I disliked this flavor. It's slightly tangy from the cream cheese without being overwhelming, and the pumpkin flavor is pretty delicate without being lost. So overall, not the best, but not the worst.
Rating: 7.5/10
12. Siggi's Pumpkin Spice Yogurt
I know, lame photo. But by the time I remembered to take one I had already eaten it all, so this will have to do.
Nutritionally, Siggi's seems to have the best pumpkin yogurt on the market, with relatively low counts for sugar and carbs compared to all the sweeter offers from other brands, including Noosa's which landed a lower spot on my list. This is important because yogurt wasn't meant to be a dessert, ice cream and pie were, so the sugar needs to be kept to a minimum.
Yogurt is often my food of choice right before a workout, so that's when I tried this flavor out. Spoiler: it didn't end well.
Here's the breakdown: Siggi's the pumpkin spice flavor on the head. I was basically eating a dense, yogi-fied (look, I made a new word) pumpkin pie for breakfast. But that's just the thing, it was quite heavy, making it a bad choice pre-workout, aside from the fact that I don't want to taste Thanksgiving dessert while I'm exercising.
However, my mistake aside, this yogurt is definitely a good choice for a sweet, yet satisfying breakfast. It's just very pumpkin spice heavy, so be careful not to overdo it.
Rating: 7.5/10
13. Noosa's Pumpkin Yoghurt
Sadly, I don't have a photo of this one, so you're gonna have to either use your imagination or make your way over to Google to see what this looks like.
I definitely like how this yogurt has less of a tang to it than Siggi's version. The pumpkin flavor is also really present, in a good way. The only real problem here is that it's more sugary than I like my yogurts to be and less filling than Siggi's, making it a better pre-workout yogurt, but a worse choice for any other occasion.
Rating: 7/10
14. Pumpkin Pie Lara Bar
Lara Bars are very hit or miss, and unfortunately, this one was a miss.
One of the most common flaws in pumpkin spice products is tasting like a candle, and that's exactly the problem here. Sometimes companies just don't get the spice mixture right and things wind up tasting really artificial, and well, like a candle. There's no other way to put it. However, there are big chunks of pecans in here rather than them just being pulverized into the rest of the bar, so that's a nice change-up.
The texture is good and it has a nice chew just like all Lara Bars do, but this is definitely my least favorite of their line of holiday flavors.
Rating: 5/10
15. Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars: Pumpkin Spice Edition
Now it's time to look at the loser of the two products in this photo. I will take the blame for buying crunchy bars when I know that I'm not a fan of crunchy things, but this bar is crunchy to the point of crumbling into a million pieces upon taking one bite. Time to bring out the vacuum.
The biggest flaw with these bars are the fact that they don't taste like pumpkin. Cinnamon? Yes. Pumpkin? Not a chance.
If you're looking for a cinnamon-y granola bar that you would rather clean up off the floor than eat, then this is the right choice for you.
Rating: 4.5/10